Wednesday, November 16th, 2005
Days passed, i reconstruct my life and my priorities… it was arranged the way it used to be. Though my mind is still filled with questions left unanswered, i did not entertain the bug eating up my brain. Things went as planned… everything fell into it’s place the way I pictured it when I was still in school… but of course no matter how fulfilled life is, there is still one spot that cannot be filled at all. I am so contented with life except that I’m not happy… my smile is not genuine and I have this feeling that tears is about to fall any minute now.
As I was going through with another day of my life, i received a message on my phone… the unlikely almost blinded me… the message came from "him". My knees was trembling, coz I thought of all the questions he left me.
We saw each other the next day… nov. 10,2005… I cherish every day we meet, coz that is a rare occurrence. At the sight of him, I felt the happiness that I’ve been seeking… I felt secure and I found peace… the feeling that I never get with other men. He is my heart’s home. As he touched my face and kissed my hands I did not bother to ask him why he left unnoticed. The mystery within him makes him all the more lovable. He locked me in his arms and I forgot all my worries… my questions!
How I wish I can have him the minute I need him… how I wish he is within my reach… but he’s not.
Today, I woke up uncertain… again full of questions… worries. Again, he’s gone and never left a single word. Will I see him again? I’m not at peace again, not happy at all. My life is a pretention… but I’m glad it’s not a waste. His smile makes me survive every morning, his kiss will always make me strong and the thought of his arms will make me deal with life.
If I’ll see him again? I really dunno… he came but never answered my question. He just loved me… I know!!!
